Behind the Scenes
by paynesgrey
Summary: Rachel was determined to get through this, and Will feared losing her from the team. Spoilers for 1x02, "Showmance." Will x Rachel, mostly platonic. Other pairings implied. ONESHOT.


AN: Spoilers for 1x02 "Showmance". This is a one-shot and will not be continued.

Behind the Scenes

This morning Rachel woke up thinking of Finn, but at the end of the next day, she never fathomed going to bed thinking of Mr. Schuester.

She didn't consider herself fickle, and she didn't think of Mr. Schuester as more than a teacher – but at times, he infuriated her. He challenged her, and he stirred emotions in her that no other person in her lifetime had. Yet, at the same time, he endured her and proved to be the kindest teacher she'd ever met.

Finn was a nice boy, handsome and prone to moments of genuine friendship. He fit her like a perfect puzzle piece, and through some over estimation, it was only a matter of time before they were the leads of the club and the school.

Mr. Schuester destroyed that dream in one heartbreaking statement: Quinn was taking over her lead.

--

Will was not oblivious to Rachel's emotions. She had usurped him on the _Push It_ song, and he tried to tell himself this wasn't about revenge.

Maybe some of it was. He didn't like upsetting his students, least of all his New Direction kids, but contrary to her teary eyes, Rachel did teach him some humility.

He should have listened to the kids about the disco song. He was still beating himself up over it, but it was time to teach everyone something, and Rachel would not be excluded.

Things were odd with him. Emma was acting strangely, and with good reason, for he never thought to consider her feelings, or how he was treating her. He thought they were friends. He thought…

He shook it off. Terri had subdued things at home so much his mind rarely went there. The news of his son was a hopeful normality among his tumultuous thoughts.

Yet, when he saw Rachel's glare in the hall (accompanied by some disappointed looks from the other Glee members), he began to reconsider. He watched as she dashed into the bathroom just ahead him, swinging open the door with a defiant whack.

He sighed gently as he made his way to his Intermediate Spanish. Rachel would be a wedge in the back of his brain for the rest of the day.

--

She crossed paths with him on the way to the auditorium. He was humming a Steely Dan song, the same song her dads would play on a quiet Sunday night while dreading the work day beginning the next morning.

She saw his eyes try to meet hers, and she turned her head away from him, biting her lip and gliding past him as she made her way to the stage.

He was behind her, and she didn't know if he left or if he stayed to listen. Frankly, Rachel didn't care.

She tapped the microphone, and it pinged that it was on. She opened her mouth and closed her eyes and sang _The Rose_.

_Some say love it is a hunger  
an endless aching need  
I say love it is a flower  
and you it's only seed_

_It's the heart afraid of breaking  
that never learns to dance  
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance  
It's the one who won't be taken_

--

Rachel's bold and emotional voice stuck in his head that evening, and Will stalked into the men's room to change for his night shift. He sighed heavily, thinking of Emma, feeling her absence, and wondering idly what craft project Terri was working on at home.

But all soon faded in the background as he replayed his argument with Rachel in his head.

He understood her disappointment, but he was steadfast in his decision. He couldn't play favorites. Quinn would stay the lead.

Will pushed open the door and almost ran into her as she squeaked, barely missing the edge of the doorway to her face.

She looked at him shocked, and then he saw her shoulders relax.

"So it's true," she said. "You're a janitor." She lifted her chin, showing him she was still mad.

"Yep," he said in a low voice. "I might not be doing it much longer though. Terri says I don't have to work extra hours. We're…never mind." He didn't know why he was spilling his personal problems to her. He was sure a student wouldn't care, and Rachel was sore with him. If anything, he really didn't think telling her his life problems would garner any sympathy.

"What?" she asked. Maybe he was wrong as she looked at him curiously.

"Nothing. Look, Rachel. I've done some thinking. I know you may think I'm punishing you, despite what I said," he explained, and her face froze into a placid expression. "I want to admit to you that maybe I am… a little. But you were right. All you kids were right."

"I know," she said quietly. "Mr. Schuester, it's alright. You had to do what you had to do." She sounded defeated, which didn't seem like Rachel at all. He studied her face closely. No, there was something else. "Maybe it's for the best."

He guessed she had done a lot of thinking too.

--

She really didn't want to be here late at night, but she had sung her guts out that evening and lost track of time. Before she knew it, it was almost 9 o'clock and the silence in the school became eerily deafening. She switched off the microphone and headed to her locker to gather her things. Before she knew it, a door swung open in the boy's bathroom almost clipping her on the chin.

"Ahh!" she squeaked, and she came face to face with the one person she didn't want to see, other than Finn and Quinn, she supposed; however, Rachel was trying to convince herself that she was giving up on that.

Mr. Schuester looked just as surprised and perplexed to see her as well. Then, he started to apologize.

She felt even worse because he was acting really noble, and she couldn't think of any other teacher to grasp such humility and apologize to a student. Especially not to her, since most teachers at her school treated her like the gum stuck underneath a desk.

She responded in kind, but it still hurt to admit it. It hurt to admit that Quinn had won, and in this scheme, she still felt like Mr. Schuester helped that.

It would be so much easier if Mr. Schuester wasn't so sweet.

--

Will tossed in bed that night with Terri sleeping soundly beside him. Rachel's voice plagued his thoughts – in her song he could feel her sorrow, her loss; which lead him to believe there was much more to her pain than just losing the lead. To Rachel singing was her life, her passion, but Will was sure she understood that she couldn't always be lead.

She had to know that sometimes you had to be a back up, that you had to climb your way to the top and things weren't just offered to you right away without hard work. Sometimes, other people had to shine on the team.

Yet, the girl was bothered by something else. Why else would she sing after hours like that?

Why else would she choose such songs to pour out her heart?

A horrible thought crossed his mind. If something else, something internal was bothering Rachel, he feared losing her. Rachel had threatened to quit Glee before, and he had worked his ass off to find Finn to appease her demands. She had been right then too.

Will bit his lip and rolled over on his side away from Terri. He felt a headache coming on, but he knew what he had to do in the morning.

He had to find out what wrong with Rachel; he couldn't risk losing her. She was the heart of team, and even to him, too important to lose.

--

Rachel wondered if she greeted Mr. Schuester too happily that morning. She watched as his car rumbled up to his parking space, his muffler sparking on the ground. As he came out of his car, she quickly ran up to him, dragging her pink bag as it skipped and wobbled against the uneven pavement.

"Mr. Schuester, I know you don't want to hear this, but since we're only allowed parent-friendly songs, I took the liberty of going through a whole database of music sheets and found the friendliest, yet fun and modern ones I could find. You wouldn't believe how appropo a Carrie Underwood song is for even the strictest of blue-collar, God-fearing parents."

Mr. Schuester turned to her, somewhat surprised, but his smile matched hers, and she felt infinitely relieved he was buying to her forced good mood.

"That's great. We'll need all the help we can get," he said with a heavy sigh. "To be honest, I was struggling to find good songs myself." He waggled his eyebrows. "I'm trying to think like a 21st century teenager and I admit I can't always get into character."

Rachel shook her head, and she hoped he didn't notice the heat filling her cheeks. "Nonsense, Mr. Schuester. No other teacher could rap like you do like the other day, and I hate to imagine how the principle would attempt it."

Mr. Schuester let out a laugh that was as soothing as his singing, and she shivered, feeling odd in her response. When he stopped and looked down at her amiably, she stood with him, feeling frozen as she met his troubled eyes. "Now, thanks to you, I'll have that image in my head through first period Spanish."

Silence fell between him, and she tore away from his gaze, failing at holding back her amused smile.

"Hey," he said softly, patting her upper arm and then drawing the touch away. "Are we cool yet, Rachel?" Rachel ignored the fact that he used such a "modern" phrase, and she braved to meet his eyes.

She lifted her chin, but she couldn't mask the pained emotions that rushed to the surface. She felt like a fool, and she supposed to him, she must have looked like one.

"Almost," she said with a small smile, and she rolled her bag away, knowing he was watching her for a moment before he headed back to his class too.

--

Will Schuester went over infinitive verbs with the Beginning Spanish class, but he couldn't help think of seeing Rachel that morning.

He was somewhat relieved. Things were a little better, but the future was still vague.

He just couldn't predict if she would one day not show up to rehearsal and then give up. He really hated thinking that of her, but he knew he didn't even scratch the surface.

Rachel was hurting inside, and for some reason, he couldn't help but interfere. He was just her teacher; Terri would roll her eyes and get mad at him for keeping his heart on his sleeve for "those kids", and Emma wasn't around to give him advice.

Will didn't think Emma could help him with this, even if she was still speaking to him.

He couldn't rely on Emma anyway, or anyone else for that matter; it was his turn to solve these problems. He had made enough of a mess already of this, and he was determined not to lose to Sue's obvious ploy to sabotage the whole club.

Losing Rachel would be detrimental, but it wasn't just losing her that scared him, it was losing her because of something he did, and he didn't think he would forgive himself for that.

--

Rachel hadn't had problems with choreography since she was two, but the appearance of Quinn and her cronies at rehearsal that afternoon had thrown a wrench into her confidence, and she hated that she was here, throwing herself over Finn and sucking up to Mr. Schuester like he was the second coming.

It wasn't Finn's fault; Quinn and he were dating after all. Rachel understood that, but she couldn't understand how Mr. Schuester could give into her. She supposed he was taking her compliments in order to keep her in the club, lest she change her mind and have three drop out when he was confident on getting a full count of students to abide by the rules.

Still, it grated on her nerves that Quinn was here, that Mr. Schuester was so nice to her, and that she was diminished to be backup vocals with Tina and Mercedes (and those other jerky girls).

Rachel began to sympathize with Mercedes now, but she definitely didn't have her patience. She sighed when Mr. Schuester stopped rehearsal again and gave her an authoritative scowl. She had messed up again.

"Bend your arms like this, and then glide them up…" He came over and she felt his light touch as it instantly drew her out of her morose thoughts. Mr. Schuester's hands were soft yet strong, and when the put pressure on her arm to follow the motions, she was distracted momentarily before shaking out of her thoughts and performing the dance perfectly.

He smiled at her. "There, you got it, now from the top."

Her mind slid out of the dark clouds, and she concentrating on proving to herself she could do this. She would show up Quinn and Finn. They wouldn't be the star couple for long.

And she would show Mr. Schuester that he had made a mistake in taking her out of the lead. She met her teacher's eyes and there was hesitation there, and wonder, and she wished for a moment she knew what he was thinking.

He nodded his head and smiled, and Rachel did her best at singing backup vocals that night. She heard Quinn sing and scoffed. It made her feel better knowing Quinn would be no where near her league, no matter how hard she schemed.

--

Mr. Schuester stayed after everyone left, and when the school was completely quiet, he seemed glad that Rachel had stayed too.

"That must have been brutal for you," he said as she leaned against the piano next to him. Her gaze fell to the floor.

"That's an understatement."

"You're doing great," he said, his voice sounding lighter again." You wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked. "I don't mean to pry."

Rachel sighed languidly. "No, it's okay. If it concerns Glee, I shouldn't keep everything down with my personal problems."

He nodded, and they still fell into awkward silence.

"I like Finn," she said bluntly. "I thought he liked me, but then Quinn came into Glee. I think she's getting back at me for messing up Celibacy club." Rachel grinned quickly at that, but then as Mr. Schuester stayed silent, the emotions became unrestrained. She choked out a sob and began to cry. She felt her teacher's arm go around her.

"I can't do this," she said, and she felt Mr. Schuester stiffen against her. "I can't handle seeing them every day, here, in a place where I feel my most at home, but I won't give up Glee." She wiped away a tear, and Mr. Schuester dug into his pocket for the standard hanky that came with the jacket. She murmured a thank you and continued, "She thinks she's won, but she hasn't."

"Rachel…Glee isn't a competition among your teammates. It's, well, a team," he explained.

"No! You don't understand, Mr. Schuester. To Quinn, it's not about teamwork. It's about ruining me, and she'll ruin you too!" She tilted her head and her lip quivered. "Quinn is a Cheerio. There's no other reason she's here. She's already gotten Finn back, but next she'll tear us all down."

She looked up into his face, and he seemed intrigued, as if he was giving her idea some thought. She knew it was against his better angels to think ill of a student, but Quinn was Sue's top Cheerio, which he must have been speculating meant something more.

"I don't want to believe that Quinn is here for that," he said.

"I know, Mr. Schuester. You're too nice for your own good," she said, and he laughed.

"I've had others tell me that," he said, and Rachel idly noticed his strong arm was still around her. As she wedged against the side of his chest, she also noted how built he was, and she felt her senses flare with strange stimulation. She almost chided herself for having such thoughts about a teacher, but Mr. Schuester was like no teacher to her. Mentor, maybe, but so unlike the other teachers at the school.

"Look, the only thing I want for Glee is for us to succeed," he said, as his eyes pierced into hers. "I expect there to be a few pitfalls and bumps along the way, but we can get through this. If you believe in this club, Rachel, it won't fail." He paused and she watched him purse his lips. "I can't do this without you."

She wiped away another tear. "I know."

Unexpectedly, he pulled her even closer. "Don't leave Glee. If you're having problems with Quinn and Finn… or anyone else, please come to me."

"Alright," she said in a shaky voice, and she swore she felt his lips on her head before he pulled away.

"I better get going," he said with a relieved smile. "Terri is probably wondering where I am."

"Congratulations on your baby boy, by the way, Mr. Schuester," she said amiably, as she still felt his lips on her head and his warmth against her side.

"Word travels fast in this school, doesn't it?" he asked humorously.

Rachel giggled. "You have no idea."

He laughed. "Come on," he said, motioning his head to the door. "I'll walk you out. Are your parents picking you up?"

"No, I drove today." Rachel walked up to him, and when she walked at his side, she felt his taut arm rub against her. She shivered slightly, knowing already her dreams tonight would be surreal and maybe even salacious.

But she didn't mind; he was a nice intangible distraction from Finn, and she envied his wife, having such a caring man that tried so hard to be there for everyone.

The fact that he made more of an effort for _her_, moved Rachel. At least, unlike Finn, Mr. Schuester's attentions toward her were heartfelt, a refreshing reminder of the difference between a good, mature man and a capricious high school boy.

END


End file.
